Black screen. Weird Al's Spam plays.
Fade in on a framed picture of a generic Denny's. Camera slowly pans across a wall covered with such things as the credits run.
As credits end, music dies down and camera turns towards the room. It is empty, with a hardwood floor and several support columns.
(P7A77 walks in, sits down on the floor and starts masturbating.)
(Fulsome and Mutie enter from another side, fighting over a hand mirror.)
P7 (moaning): Oh! Rocky! With a Grand Slam Supreme(tm)!
(loree walks in, arm in cast)
loree (to P7): SPERM!
P7 (to loree): CUNT!
(loree winks at Mutie and walks out just as Brack climbs in through a heating duct.)
Brack: Oh, I see P7 is up to his usual constructive activies.
Mutie (to Brack): Uh, how did you get in here?
Brack: Well, the ducts aren't locked properly, so if you
while (thermostat.setting > 88) duct:bang_on(twice); endwhile
you can get in.
(Loud banging on the door)
Voice: Brack! I know you're in there!
Fulsome: Its yduJ!
yduJ voice: I told you that I didn't want to catch you fucking with the building again! Don't make me evict the lot of you!
(Brack looks around and climbs out of the window, inching away on the ledge)
yduJ voice: And this apartment uses way more utilities than anyone else. Hey! I see you out there!
(Sounds of yduJ running off, replaced by music getting louder. Enter Verve)
Verve: Oh, groovy! Today the Splitting Icecream Headaches released TWO more singles, as did Juicy Shoelace Warriors and Electronic British Potatoes and according to a mailing list I'm on, Bono shit THREE times today!
(P7 moans at Verve)
Verve (to P7): I'm groovy.
(A loud chattering sound gets closer and closer, but only about a half of the people present seem to hear it. Finaly, O.M.I.N. enters, talking to himself about somebody he works with.)
O.M.I.N.: And I'm sure you all agree that anyone who dares to disagree with me is a raving lunatic and hypocritical to boot. I mean, can you believe some of the attacks on me! I just don't understand.
(Verve, who does not seems to see or hear O.M.I.N. walks right through him accidentaly)
O.M.I.N.: The nerve! How dare someone who doesn't know I'm here do anything that could upset me!
Fulsome (to P7): Could you *please* lock the door occasionaly? And not give O.M.I.N. the key?
(Verve notices Fulsome mentioning O.M.I.N.)
Verve: Bloody hell. I don't need this wanker.
O.M.I.N.: You see? Its a conspiracy to darken my name! You know, I think I'm going to follow Verve, even though she can't hear me, and let her know what I think! If I'm lucky, maybe I'll see vol around and say some things to HER too!
(O.M.I.N. chases after Verve)
Fulsome: Hrm. Seems kinda quiet.
Fulsome: I think I'll talk.
Fulsome: Its been a while since I've worked out. Maybe I should again.
Fulsome: I do get quite a bit of excercize doing SafeWalk, though.
Fulsome: Plus I get to talk with pretty women.
Fulsome: I just bought a great new ambient CD.
Fulsome: It is so ambient it doesn't have a title.
Fulsome: I don't even know who made it.
Fulsome: I hope they come out with a second.
Fulsome: Unless this is a second.
(Mutie throws a can of spam at Fulsome)
Mutie (to Fulsome): There. Your very own can.
Fulsome (to Mutie): Damn, you broke my train of thought!
(vol walks in. P7 moans and lights up a cigarette. vol sneers.)
vol: MORNING SEX!
Fulsome (to vol): Right here?
(While vol is taking to Fulsome, a hunched figure in monks robes enters the room.)
vol: Did Verve hear about Bono's latest digestive activities? I could have gone and seen it, too.
Monk figure: if the ways of perfection you want, about your useless lives talk often.
Fulsome (to vol): Yeah, I think MTV covered it.
(Mutie jumps up)
Mutie: Damn you, Inky, what do you care if I like Star Wars?
Inky: touchy is he about childish activities.
P7: Touch me, Inky.
Mutie (to P7): Pleeeeaaaaaase can we lock the door?
Inky: how can you all waste so much time in this room? the level of pure dorkness in this room is astounding. it reminds me of Moff Tarkin's insane obedience to the Dark Lord of the Sith.
(Inky trips and a Boba Fett action figure drops from under his cloaks. He grabs it, looks around, and leaves.)
(ICE-CUBE*187 runs in)
ICE-CUBE*187 (yelling): your last speech betrays a certain neitvety about the base assumtioms of any non-christian person!!!1When you sya that you feel that the current morl code is outdated do you mean as in your moral code or that which you dont know ab
ut in the terms of the religious precepts that i postyed about earluer? Itseemd thst you weren;t listening when i was talking it???
(ICE-CUBE*187 runs out)
vol: The fuck was that?
Fulsome: I think it was a wrong address. Damn @qsend.
(vol nods and walks out)
(Mutie's beeper goes off)
Mutie: Damn, another router is out on the Rose Ice Shelf. I'll be gone for about seven days.
P7: OX ROX!
Fade to black.