The Customer Lyrics copyright 1999 Michelle Dockrey To the tune of "The Designer" and "The Engineer" by Jordin Kare (Last eight notes by Tom Smith) [Intro: C G C G] C C G G The Customer came to the shop for a while C C G G The Engineer waved and shook hands with a smile C G C G "Your product is finished as ordered," he said C G C G G G And the Customer stared and stood scratching his head C G C G The impossible gadget, all polished and drilled, Am Am G Am Am Am That no Engineer should have been able to build The Customer smiled as he walked all about Then he opened his briefcase and took some things out Dumped them into a chamber inscribed "NUMBER TWO" Pushed buttons, turned dials, and waited a few... Then he pulled on a lever above a large spout And a green-fizzling liquid came burbling out He took a large swig and he started to cough His tie came untied and his shoes flew right off His hair stood on end and his face turned bright green Then purple, plaid, orange, and ultramarine When his feet seemed at last to return to the floor He raised up a toast and he drank down some more. Well the dumbstruck Designer, he watched in alarm And the Engineer shook the man hard by the arm But the Customer wasn't as ill as they feared, Wiping steam from his glasses and foam from his beard, And when he was done and could finally speak, Said "I'll need you to build at least 50 per week. And you'll have to design me a Klein-bottling-plant, (Now our contract is clear, so don't tell me you can't!) And some Heisenberg tankers, whatever the cost No spedometers, now, or of course they'll be lost For next month," he explained as they slowly went pale, Am Am G A E A "We begin mass-producing three-OH-7 Ale, me lads, THREE-oh-7 Ale!"